Dealing with Despair
I don't know what to write but not for lack of things to write but rather a lack of the will to write. I have so much to dwell on, is it the crippling economic crisis in the country? Or is it the annoying educational sector? Or do I dwell on the pain that can only come with unguarded speech?
Lately it's been everything together. I am just tired, physically, mentally and emotionally. I am so tired I am not emotionally invested in anything. Physically, my body hurts and yet I am supposed to be mentally active, ready to learn. Take for instance, as a student in the university, my penultimate year for that matter, I am supposed to be aware of the area for my research project in the ultimate year. Of course I am not aware, I am not even sure I understand why I have been in school all these years ( I'm just here trying to sleep really!) That is the power of despair - To give up hope; when nothing quite makes sense anymore.
The thing about despair though is that it's never consistent. Life throws us curves but even in the curves you find a beautiful view and an impressive shape; even in the dark, there are stars, you just have to open your eyes. In my case, I found this to be very true. As tired and exhausted as I was, I got a call from my best friend just when I needed encouragement; that call proved to be a blessing. It reminded me that I wasn't alone even if it feels like I am, that somewhere somehow, a friend cares. Yes, that did not take the pain away but it sure lessened it. And as a form of recompense, I called a friend too and that call completely changed my mood. Sometimes when everything seems bleak, you only need a listening ear. That friend proved to be my listening ear.
Life is full of ups and downs, sometimes you will despair, nothing will make sense but there is always light at the end of the tunnel, you only have to keep going to find it. When in despair, be a source of sunshine to others, you might discover paradise or at least a listening ear. Keep on keeping on.