Dissecting Relationships

I have always been fascinated by relationships, the ups and downs and everything in between. I like the fact that one person can somehow become your friend, family and everything else. It is quite intriguing how this comes about and develops and in a way takes over your existence. My fascination has meant that I take time to observe relationships and I have got quite a load on such that my friends believe that I have become very picky, though I would say I simply know exactly what I want. Here is one way for instance that I demonstrate what I want.

You see before I can choose who to date, I need to consider who their friends are ( that will be after making sure they are God fearing and have the same principles). Why you may ask? Because just like dating, you choose who becomes your friend. It is not like family where you have no choice; this is your doing. You decide who you let into your life and your heart to become your friend. The type of person who you choose then must have a bearing on who you are. You know how you meet some people and they are very cool but you somehow cannot stand their friends? Well that says something about who they are. It says they're comfortable with that kind of behavior and that is totally not acceptable to me.

After considering their friends, the next thing I do is consider how strong their friendships are. You see, friendship requires a certain level of commitment and loyalty. A person who keeps a close knit friendship will find it easy to keep a long lasting relationship because marriage and friendship go hand in hand. I ask my friends all the time(those who are dating that is) how does he describe his friends? Does he go out of his way for them? How does he treat them?
Friendship has ups and downs, it has moments that will test you and when a person is able to maintain a lasting friendship in spite of it all, it tells you something about them. In fact, it takes a special kind of person to develop and maintain the deepest of friendships.  It tells you about their loyalty and loyalty is a quality you will require in marriage.

Lastly, I consider how well I will fit into his friendships. I mean, can they be my friends? If you share the same values and beliefs, it is totally possible to become part of the group. Can I hold conversations with them? Do they make me feel comfortable? This part of my requirements helps me see how well that relationship will work because I believe the best of relationships are those between friends and if you cannot blend into the group, how exactly are you friends?
 It is no secret that your friends know you well so gauging their reactions and interactions with me helps me understand the other person. And understanding how deep his friendships are gives me a glimpse into his inner person and that helps me determine why he keeps a certain type of friends. Basically, everything is interwoven and essential.

Of course, that is not all you need to maintain a good relationship but it is a start and that seems to work for me. What about you?

WaleAyo.