Taking Me Back

"What I miss the most about you is not your smile or your laugh or your out of this world eyes or your calming voice, not that I really don't miss all that, what I miss the most is that you cared even if it was just for a little while ... "

I wrote this at a time when I was in so much pain because a friend hurt me. I realized that too often I had become used to not expecting anything from anyone but someone broke that wall and forced me to reconsider building it again. I basked in the glory that someone could care about Me that wasn't a family member or my best friend. I was shattered to realise that I was right where I started yet again.

I am learning though that it takes a certain kind of faith to keep going even after you're shattered, to keep hoping even after you've lost and to hold on to peace even when every bone in your body says no. I am learning not to punish others for your mistakes and to become enough in myself.

Do I miss you? Yes
Do I miss that you cared? Yes
Will I do it all over again? Yes
Because I was not the one who was wrong, you were. And I refuse to allow your mistakes colour my life. I won't apologize for my tears but I won't allow it stop my smiles. I am taking Me back.



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